"it" just moved
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
