My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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