i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
