Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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