i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
