Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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