Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
