Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
