hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
