JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
