Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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