butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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