Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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