how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
