Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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