apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
