he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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