I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize