yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
