I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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