Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
