what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I believe in your delicious
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
