Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
