im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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