Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
