You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
