a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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