I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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