like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
