No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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