White coat. Heels.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The uberlube is also flammable
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
