walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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