guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize