The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize