quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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