you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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