so that wasnt chicken after all
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
