you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Where did you get a picture of my penis
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
