We got so high we made milksteak
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
