HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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