He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
