I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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