I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
