He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
