We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
