I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
