wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
