4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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