About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
