I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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