yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
