I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
