toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Are my feet made of real feet?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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