He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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