I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
