grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
