hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
