Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
