she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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