I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
