So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
sex in a hospital.. check
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
