I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's no shave November. This is our time.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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