Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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