Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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